you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
