Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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