In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
