..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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