One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
