Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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