I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
