I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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