I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize