i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
