wat bout pragnant strippers??
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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