Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
