The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize