this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
