I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
