do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
