PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
