my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
