I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
