The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize