but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
