I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
