the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
