Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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