my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize