CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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