I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
