I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize