If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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