Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
