Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
