So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
