Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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