thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
