So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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