No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
