Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
