Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize