Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I smell like Dick and happiness
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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