I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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