saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
