Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
