11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
