fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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