Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
