Non-Jews are for practice
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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