hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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