Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
