So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
