I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
