i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
