this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
