it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
