you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Say something about gay babies.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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