she was so not down for the gang bang
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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