I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize