remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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