I wannas sexs uuuuu
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
