Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
