walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
