I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
