What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
