Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
