Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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