toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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