Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
