This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
