this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
