I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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