hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
