I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Panties = found
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