I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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