Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
